Centurion ESU

Title Photo: Tea is the Tool, Crewing at Crow Camp, March 2010

Waitrose supermarket in Hornchurch has generously entered us into their monthly “community matters” scheme after hearing news of the break-in over at the Paddock just weeks ago. Three thieves driving a large van and wielding bolt cutters, hacksaws and swag bags broke into three containers in the early hours of Monday 10th October. Along with the cadets and 2nd Elm Park our stores was ransacked and the light fingered thieves made off with our Vango lightweight tents, dining tent, pocket rockets, lightweight cooking equipment, petrol lamps, hillwalking storm shelters and first aid kits. But try as they might, they could not wrestle our dreams into the van, and our hope was rewarded with a phone call from the very lovely Waitrose community matters officer Ingrid.

“The scheme works with shoppers collecting a green token at the checkout and placing it into their choice of the three charity’s or local projects operating that month in store. The three then split the donation based on the number of tokens each has collected.”

Centurion will be appearing at Waitrose Hornchurch during the whole month of November. So whether you want to treat yourself to some posh nibbles, keep your hand on the purse strings with the Essentials range, do the big weekly shop, or buy one brussel sprout (preferably repeatedly) please be sure to drop your little green tokens into the Centurion collection bin and help us on our way to rebuild our lightweight expedition equipment for future generations!

Oct 2010

“Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Batman!” That was the sound that echoed through the air as the latest Centurion sedan chair offering roared out of the Bat Cave and onto the 2011 Sedan Chair Rally start line! After giving the event a miss last year we had decided that we should return with a bang, after all volleyball victors, welly wanging winners and sedan chair burners are just some of the titles that have been bestowed upon the unit since our first (unintentionally) fiery appearance back in 2005. In an attempt to better our usual half finished, flimsily constructed submission we held a Sedan Chair Sleepover in September where our Rally team mustered to create something wonderful. And after a couple of days hard work, copious quantities of cardboard, plenty of poster paint and a torrent of tea we’d managed to cobble together what appeared to be our best entry into the competition yet. Result!

As weekend of the Rally rolled around and the sun shone down, a slightly underpowered Centurion team made their way to Tolmers. Saturday was full of the usual sporting antics including climbing, shooting, bungee running and welly wanging (Ross holding the title for a considerable part of the day!), culminating in what can only be described as four rollercoaster games of volleyball. Our 3 guys teamed up with 2 friendly folks from Castle Hill ESU to do battle over the net with 4 other units. Each time, we started strongly and got an early lead, but somehow as the clock ticked on the other team managed to get back in the game, come from behind and clinch the victory. It was nail biting stuff and though 4 straight defeats might not seem like a positive, it was far from the whitewash that could have been!

Sunday dawned and the Rally loomed. Our chair was still looking reasonable, if a little floppier than we’d hoped. But as it rounded the first corner just minutes after the starting pistol was fired its structural floors became apparent. Personally I blame a lack of investment from millionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne. With the lovingly created

Batmobile dutifully dumped (temporarily of course) in a hedge, our three villains courageously continued around the course with Batgirl held aloft. The challenges they were set proved no match for their keen eyes and sharp wits but an unfortunately timed toilet break whilst waiting for the grand finale water challenge left the team in disarray and turned out to be their final undoing. Not managing to finish the Rally wasn’t the new unit accolade we had hoped for but a quiet word from the head judge after the event praising our construction and costume efforts may prove just enough to keep the young Rallyers coming for another year yet!

Oct 2011

As Sunday morning dawned and news echoed around the valleys of Cumbria that both Centurion ESU teams had retired on Saturday evening it appeared that we were back to doing what we do best at Operation Dragnet – failing! We had hoped that our 66% success rate last year would be a turning point for the unit but alas it proved a little too tall an order for our two teams of relatively green hikers.

However, all was not as gloomy as it seemed – the headcount was 2 short and not because they’d been thrown aside into a stream up on the fells but because the retiring of half of their team members was not enough to break the spirit of two of our chaps! I speak of course of Chris Littlewood and Swine Flu who showed determination and dedication the like of which we have seldom seen. Over two hours they waited to join forces with two other similarly minded explorers from far off lands so that they could continue to trek across the Lake District in Sahara-like temperatures and finish the event with their heads held high. And that they did, returning to base at around 12:30pm and earning every last brassy molecule of their Dragnet 2011 pin badge!

As the results were announced it was clear that the first dry Dragnet in a decade had taken its toll. The highest ever number of entries into the competition (60) had been weeded out to just 2 network teams and 3 explorer teams completing the route within the required time and nearly all of them with only one life remaining. Hats off to them and off course to Chris and Swine Flu for their efforts. As for the rest of our lot, well judging from the usual tall tales of James Bond-esque chases and other such antics we reckon they’ll be back to have another crack at it next year!

Jul 2011

After failing to muster a single team for last year’s event, two lots of Centurions cobbled themselves together and vowed to retain the dignity of the Hog in this year’s District Hiking Marathon. And that they did!

24 hours of Poirot like clue bagging and Monty Python like silly walking culminated with the customary (and much sought after) handshake with the Colonel and the news that our entrants had managed to secure the two top spots!

Our younger team of Chris Littlewood, Ryan, Rhiannon and Jack (not such a whippersnapper but still a fledging hiker) managed to bring the trophy back to Centurion, followed hot on the hiking boot heels by our old boys – Rob, Mike, Ellis and debutante to the hiking community Rachel.

Well done gang!

Jun 2011

It was water-wings at the ready on Saturday night as Hornchurch District once again took to the lanes of Harrow Lodge Pool for the annual Swimming Gala. It was a hot and humid wait for our Explorers in the queue at KFC, and an even hotter and humidider wait at poolside as race after race of beavers, cubs and scouts splashed their way through their heats and finals. But at long last the explorer events arrived with 2 out of 3 races having a representative from each unit – I think Meatloaf would have been pleased.

First up for Centurion was Chris who was taking on the breaststroke. His best efforts resulted in a silver medal position in a race with an undisclosed number of entrants.

Well stroked sir! As Mr Luscombe was towelled down it was time for Rob to take his place on the board for his double whammy. Sadly reversing turned out not to be his forte, finishing in 3rd place in the backstroke but with another trouncing looking imminent he managed to dig deep and pull it out of the bag for the freestyle, narrowly clinching a first place finish! Woot!

Tension mounted as the results were announced but sadly, our chaps best efforts weren’t quite enough to deny the flipper footed Spartans from taking home the trophy for the second year in a row. True to recent form we were only 1 point behind, but a point is a point and we take our swimming caps off to our amphibious explorer cousins, well done!

Mar 2011

For some, the Southern 50 is all about winning trophies, about getting a good night’s sleep and then waking up ready to dash through checkpoints at breakneck speeds without looking back. But here at Centurion we don’t concern ourselves with such trivialities. We much prefer an uncomfortable night spent listening to a fatty snoring whilst frozen rigid in the path of a chilling draft before arising at an unfeasibly early hour to plod round a muddy circuit wondering when the whole experience will be over. And based on this philosophy, we can safely say that we had our best year yet!

Yes, this year’s Southern 50 was eagerly awaited as for the first time in Centurion history we had an Explorer team in the prestigious 50 mile event! No Punt Intended (Looney, Chris, Calum and James) set off into a wet Wycombe at 06:10 shortly before the leader’s team of Ten

Gallon Dixie (Sugs, Al, Glenn and Carly – an Oxfordonian substitute for Pinto). It was not long before the wise old legs had caught up with their sprightly young counterparts; but it was still a long way to the finish. Back on the start line and the 50K teams were warming up, and out of the traps sprang Backscratcher (Swine Flu, Scott, Keith and Joe). Hopes were high for this bunch, and if individual accounts are to be believed then rightly so, as after 3 hours they had allegedly travelled 30 kilometres! Alas, the [fictitious] pace turned out to be too tough to maintain, and as Checkpoint 4 loomed at around 1pm the whole team dropped out as Scott’s feet were about to drop off. And all just 13.9 kilometres into the course, oh dear!

The last Centurion team to leave were Clockwork Babies (Michael, Ryan, Chris and Chris) competing in the Explorer only 30K event. Up against a competitive field of 36 teams, Michael, in his second Southern 50, steered home his team in a mightily impressive 7 hours 51 minutes – the third fastest time from a Centurion 30K team and worthy of 10th place at this years event! Hurray to navigation training weekends and wet walks to the Eden project!

Meanwhile back in the 50 mile event, TGD were reaching the final stages of the hike while the novices had gone AWOL for over 3 hours between checkpoints as a heavy mist set in through the wooded hill tops. They were finally pulled out around midnight with Looney claiming food poisoning from a pasty (a letter in the post to your staff sergeant demanding a month’s worth of intensive circuits is in order me thinks Private Golder!). Just after 1am TGD made it home in 6th place, beaten by 3 minutes by Upminster neighbours (and imaginatively named) Dragon A from Dragon ESU, who picked up not only the Novice Trophy but also the Chief’s Cup (words cannot describe the jealousy). Dragon B and C made it three finishing teams out of three as Susie, Jen and co completed the 50K event – well done guys!

Well, that leaves us eleven months to ponder next year’s entries and try to relinquish all the unit equipment from this year’s teams…

Feb 2011

It seems like only moments ago that we brought news of the marriage of our very own Mick Dormer to the lovely Tilly Giles and now Centurion ESU brings you another exclusive news sweep, hot off of the midwife. I speak of course of the birth of their first bouncing baby boy – Leo Giles Dormer!

Whilst Mick and Tilly got in a 2 and 8, this handsome chappy arrived in a 2 and 7, that is he was born on the 27th January and 7:02pm, weighing 7lb, 2oz. Numbers aside, he’s doing well as are mum and dad and we look forward to his official investiture on 27th January 2025. In the meantime we say congratulations to Mick and Tilly and dribble, dribble, gurgle gurgle to Leo!

Jan 2011

“We’ll never get them” they cried, “You’ve been saying that for years” they jeered, “Sugs will have a new pair of shorts before you ever get those” they mocked. But cry, jeer and mock no more you non-believers for after many years of dreaming, over 4 years of talking, and 3 attempts at manufacturing we can finally be proud to wear Centurion ESU rugby shirts!

The rugby shirt look is very in this season and we’re fairly sure it’ll be in the season after that and the year after that and the decade after that because these custom designed heavyweight hardwearing bad boys are built to last! Gavin Henson, star of Strictly Come Dancing and Welsh rugby legend [may possibly have] said “Aww boyo, those rugby shirts look proper lush they do. I wish I was a member of Centurion ESU so I could get to wear one. Those guys are gonna look as cool as I do in sequins, and come on, you’ve got to admit it, I do look proper buff in sequins.” We also asked the star of many rugby matches ‘Gilbert’ for his thoughts but sadly he declined to comment.

So how do you get your hands on our new threads? Well unfortunately quality (and South African manufacturing) doesn’t come cheap and so we can’t just give them away. The unit has subsidised the cost as much as possible to bring the price down to £20 each. We have a range of sizes from XS to XL. They can be bought on a Monday night or email Glenn if you’re an old timer and want one put aside for when you next ride into town.

Jan 2011